Skip to main content

If no longer have any sexual desire – and now Your husband is talking about a threesome

 I no longer have any sexual desire – and now my husband is talking about a threesome


I want him to be happy but we have young children and sex feels like a chore. What should I do?

I have been married for three years and no longer have any sexual desire. I am deeply in love, but my husband says I have stopped initiating physical intimacy and he hasn’t felt wanted for a long time. We have very young children, so I am exhausted all the time. He fantasises about exotic romps whereas I dream of a hot meal, shower and a nap. I don’t have any support from family or friends for our children, let alone myself, but I really want my husband to be happy and satisfied. Every time he brings up sex, it feels like just one more thing on my list of chores, and it’s always late at night when I’m trying to sleep. I thought I was having difficulty juggling life with kids, but he insists I’ve been pulling away ever since we got married. My family disowned me when I decided to get married, and I would be lying if I said that we had an easy-going relationship, but there is mad love here. I find him very attractive – I just don’t act on it for some reason. He gets very upset and is now talking about adding other people into the mix, which is something I have never wanted.

Please understand that, given your family situation, it is to be expected that you would not feel sexually eager at this time. It is very common for exhaustion, plus post-birth hormonal changes, to reduce desire. You need to calmly educate your husband about this and ask him to be more patient. It is understandable that he misses the enthusiastic sexuality you previously enjoyed together but it is unfair of him to complain and make you feel uneasy by proposing new adventures such as an unwanted threesome. Your sex drive will eventually return, but in the meantime perhaps you could ask him to help ease your childcare burden by helping you more. On the other hand, perhaps he is struggling with the shift of your focus from him to your infants. Many men experience a sense of loss and sadness during this time. Talk with him gently about this, and give him an opportunity to express it. You might ask him a question such as: “You have expressed frustration that our sex life is not the same as it was before we had children, but can you also help me to understand your feelings about the general changes in our lives since we started our family?”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The devil waits at every crossroads: a walk between darkness and light on Dartmoor

  The devil waits at every crossroads: a walk between darkness and light on Dartmoor The new 38-mile Archangel’s Way, a pilgrimage route in a rugged corner of Devon, straddles Christendom and ancient pagan sites T he story of the church of St Michael de Rupe begins – as all the best Dartmoor stories do – on a dark and stormy night. A sailor, stricken in a wild and furious sea, fell to the deck of his ship to pray for salvation. The almighty unveiled a mountain in the midst of the tempest where the ship duly made landfall: in gratitude the sailor built a church on its summit. The devil – who had unleashed that evil storm – did his best to prise the church from its foundations, but Archangel Michael sprung to its defence and became the patron of this Devon parish. The tale has many versions, but this is the general gist. Today, St Michael de Rupe counts as the highest working church in southern England – poised dramatically on top of a western outlier of Dartmoor’s tor...
Post a Comment
Read more

How To Clean Battery Corrosion in Your Car

How To Clean Battery Corrosion in Your Car, Simply and Safely By:  Talon Homer   |   Feb 17, 2025   You wash, wax, and vacuum your car to keep it looking sharp. But have you ever considered cleaning things under the hood? By cleaning your battery terminals, you can actually help the car battery perform stronger, longer! We’ll show you how to clean the terminals and help prevent car battery corrosion in only FIVE steps – with materials you probably already have at home! Materials Protective gloves, like dish gloves Baking soda Water Old toothbrush Rag Petroleum jelly Step 1: Mix up your homemade battery cleaner. The recipe is simple. Mix one tablespoon of baking soda into one cup of water, and stir it together until it's thoroughly mixed. Step 2: Undo the cables from the battery and inspect it. Make sure your engine is off. Pop open your hood and remove the negative battery cable first. Then the positive cable attached to your battery. Some bat...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to decorate your new home like a professional

  How to decorate your new home like a professional 1. Paint a colorful front door Your front door is your home’s first impression. A bold, colorful door makes a statement before your guests even cross the threshold. It’s an easy, affordable upgrade that sets the tone for your  design aesthetic  throughout the rest of the home. As for which color to choose, go with your gut — and be sure to complement your home’s overall exterior paint and trim colors.  2. Give every room a focal point Decide where you want the focal point to be in each room (and no, it doesn’t have to be a TV!). Perhaps it’s a stately fireplace, a feature wall, or the gorgeous view through a floor-to-ceiling window. Whatever it is, arrange your furniture and accessories to highlight the focal point. Consider layouts that encourage conversation, too. 3. Layer your lighting For function and drama, you should have three kinds of lighting in any room: ambient, like the room-wide light that ...
Post a Comment
Read more