Little Johnny gets an F in math

Most people didn’t enjoy math in school—numbers, fractions, and percentages aren’t exactly easy. Little Johnny was no exception, and his poor multiplication skills got him into trouble.

He came home and told his dad, “I got an F in math today.”
His dad asked, “What happened?”
Johnny explained, “The teacher asked, ‘What’s 3 times 2?’ I said 6.”
His dad replied, “That’s correct.”
Johnny continued, “Then she asked, ‘What’s 2 times 3?’”
His dad shouted, “What’s the difference?”
Johnny grinned, “That’s what I said!”

Another joke: A man’s morning habit of loud, smelly farts annoyed his wife. She warned him that one day he’d blow his guts out.

One Thanksgiving, she stuffed turkey innards into his underwear while he slept. Later, he ran to the bathroom in horror. When he finally came downstairs, he whispered, “Honey, you were right… but with Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got them all back in.”

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